If you thought British politics had calmed down since the Brexit years, Monday just called and asked you to sit down.
According to The Guardian's live blog, Nick Thomas-Symonds - once a reliable Starmer loyalist and presumably still on the group chat - has come out swinging for a 'swift transition' of power to Greater Manchester Mayor Andy Burnham, suggesting that a contested Labour leadership battle would not be in the 'best interests of the country.' Which, to be fair, is exactly what someone says right before a contested leadership battle breaks out.
The 'definitely not running' Olympics
Meanwhile, cabinet ministers Al Carns and Darren Jones have both declined to rule out their own leadership bids, which in Westminster-speak translates roughly to 'we are absolutely considering running and have already measured the curtains in Downing Street.' The art of not saying no is practically a GCSE subject at this point.
Burnham, the Northern Powerhouse's favourite political export, has not yet formally declared, but the drumbeat is getting hard to ignore. Thomas-Symonds framing a potential challenge as bad for the nation is a classic piece of political theatre - wrap your candidate's coronation in a Union Jack and call it patriotism.
Meanwhile, in Edinburgh, a much less ambiguous story
On a considerably less ambiguous note, Peter Murrell - former SNP chief executive and estranged husband of ex-First Minister Nicola Sturgeon - was sentenced to five years and three months in prison at the High Court in Edinburgh on Monday. Murrell had admitted to embezzling more than £400,000 from the Scottish National Party, a scandal that has cast a long shadow over the once-dominant force in Scottish politics.
The conviction closes one chapter of a saga that has rattled the SNP to its foundations, with the party still working to rebuild trust and relevance after a bruising few years. Sturgeon herself has not faced criminal charges.
So what does it all mean?
Labour is navigating a leadership transition that nobody is officially calling a crisis, while Scotland's most prominent political couple has ended up estranged and, now, with one of them behind bars. British politics, never exactly a slow news cycle, appears to be back in full telenovela mode. Grab the popcorn - just maybe not the publicly funded kind.
